Frustrations, fake contractions and the delivery

6-05-2015 21-09-19

The moment that you’ll become a dad is coming closer every minute. More and more you start to realize that your family no longer exists out of you and your signifant other, but someone else is going to join the family really soon. Exciting, but certainly no less fun.

You do start to notice that the pregnancy is not one big party: being tired, a kicking baby, can’t stop turning while asleep and then I did not even mention the problems that the woman that is pregnant is facing… Life did not (yet) get better. The bi-weekly visits to the midwife are starting to get less interesting as well: it’s more of a check-up than learning new stuff.

All together this may lead to the necessary frustrations during the pregnancy. You know, by now, that it’s better to not ventilate these frustrations towards the mama 2 be. A tip to handle these frustrations: go to the gym twice or three times a week or go outside and take a run while listening to some power music so you will lose all the anger and pent up energy, this worked out really good for me.  Keep in mind that mama 2 be might give you some jealous glances, because she will probably not be able to work out the way she could before, if she can work out at all. If she asks you if you can skip gym once and instead of helping her out with something, it might be a good idea to listen to her.

And then there is that big moment (you think)!! 37 weeks of pregnancy, heavy stomach-aches and a baby that can’t stop moving (= fighting) in the belly. You read that having a baby at 37 weeks of pregnancy is not a problem, because the baby is full grown at that moment, but still there is that tension: is it all going well, is it not too early, etc. After a few hours of heavy convulsions, the pain is flowing away, and also the “contractions” suddenly appear to go away. You don’t know exactly what to do, so you call the midwife. What seems to be the case: fake contractions, all very normal, because the body is preparing for the delivery.

If this is only to give you an idea of what is about to happen, you don’t want to know what happens when it really starts…

And then there is the day before the due date. Let me give you a small idea of what’s the current situation:

Mama 2 be can only walk from the bed to the couch and vice versa. The past few days you, as a daddy to be, are only busy with working, preparing the house for the baby, and on top of that, you also have to take your woman to the hospital every day for a daily check-up. At the last check at the midwife, the heart of the baby appeared to be beating a little bit irregular. Fortunately when going to the hospital for a more thorough check, the heart of the baby is fine, but the amount of amniotic seems to be a little bit small. Because of that mama 2 be, and therefore you as well, need to go to the hospital for a daily check: ECG, check for possible contractions, etc.

A quite night on the couch after a busy week of working. Mama 2 be says she doesn’t feel that well and is going to take a shower, nothing strange you still think. When she is still in the shower after over half an hour, you are going to check up on her. In the meanwhile she is not in the shower anymore, but laying in the bath and she tells you that the baby is moving a lot and the warm water relaxes her and the baby. After another hour she feels that the stomach-ache and contractions are getting less and she wants to get out of bath. But the moment she steps out of the bath, the heavy convulsions return: the contractions have really started! After waiting for approx. 5 hours, the contractions are following up each other a lot quicker and then there is the moment you can call the hospital as a future dad. With a trembling voice you call the delivery rooms and tell them that the contractions are appearing every few minutes and ask them if you can please come to the delivery rooms; fortunately they are happy to welcome you and they don’t make a problem out of it.

Around 02:30 AM and staying awake based on a combination of adrenalin and the prospect that you go home as a family with an extra member, you arrive at the  hospital. Through the entrance of the ER and walking with mama 2 be in a wheelchair you enter the delivery rooms. After a great welcome to the delivery rooms we are led to a room on the 11th floor with a beautiful view over the city. After another hour waiting they decide to “break the water” to make sure the delivery is initiated a bit faster. Up until then you thought that mama 2 be had a rough time, but I can tell you, when the water broke, it turned into a real nightmare. Fortunately your signifant other can take small naps between the contractions.

In the meanwhile daddy 2 be has been awake for over 26 hours and he’s not able to do anything more than to sit on a chair and watch mama 2 be to be in a lot of pain. In the meanwhile you’ve depleted Facebook and Twitter for over 5 times and you notice that there is almost no one awake between 3 and 5 AM. Both families are informed via Whatsapp that the actual moment of delivery will happen very soon. After over 12 hours of contractions, the big moment is there: the delivery starts.

Real tense, heavy 12 minutes later it happened: our healthy son is born! You feel so relieved that everything turned out fine. You think that everything is finished by now, but it turns out that a number of checks need to be executed to check if the baby is really healthy. And after that you still have to wait until the “new born” mama has gone to the bathroom. I can imagine your face when you read this: “waiting until she has gone to the bathroom, why?” But yeah, apparently that is an important check to see if mummy is also doing fine after giving birth.

After another couple hours of waiting, you leave the hospital together with the refreshed mother and a wonderful son, going to enjoy the peace of your own house. At least, that is what you’re thinking at that moment…

Subject next blog: Maternity assistance, maternity visit and sleepless nights.

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